Why does my self-care look different than theirs?

Everyone is different. And so are our bodies, minds and the experiences that we have. Each of us is the result of these things and we learn to like different things because of them. So naturally, not everyone likes to do the same things.  And not everyone will care for themselves in the exact same way.

Something that helps someone else relax, like going for a run, might not be the right thing to help you relax.  But once you find your thing  (which can also be multiple things) you just know it feels right.

Whether it’s a hobby, a habit, a self-care tactic, or anything really - once you get that good feeling, you just know. 

The trouble with this is seeing all of the things other people do that make them happy - or at least look like it makes them happy. We can try to replicate that all we want but if it’s not what makes us feel good and not what helps us, it just won’t feel like it should.  

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 Learn to accept we’re all different

As much as social media helps us to compare ourselves with everyone else out there, the truth is it’s not worth comparing. You and the experiences you’ve had are much different than those of that person you went to high school with and are now jealous of because they seem to have the perfect life (even though you haven’t seen them in five years and you probably have no idea what their life is actually like). 

Knowing this doesn’t help you feel any less inadequate compared to that person you keep seeing online.  But you need to remember you are not them  and you have you things that other people might wish they had too. 

The same goes for self-care, maybe someone else does something that you had sooo hoped would work for you. But it didn’t. That’s okay! Again, you are not them and there are things out there that you enjoy more or that help you feel better.

Even the simple things related to self-care like getting enough sleep are different from person to person. The fact is, everyone needs sleep. The difference is, some people function their best with eight hours of sleep and others with six. You just need to find what works for you and helps you feel your best. 

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Find your own thing(s) 

Like we said before, comparing yourself and the things you do to other people is never helpful. More often than not it can leave us feeling not so good about ourselves.

But what can make us feel absolutely amazing is finding that thing that helps us feel good. This can take some trial and error. To be honest, your thing might just be coming home to veg out and watch an episode of Family Guy after work. That’s cool! As long as you get genuine happiness from what you’re doing (and you aren’t hurting anyone!) that’s all that matters. 

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 Just be YOU

Seriously. Be authentically you. As authentically you as you possibly can. Don’t let what other people do or think change anything that you love about yourself or anything that makes you happy.

Once you become more comfortable with yourself and who you know you are, you might be more comfortable to be able to try different things that might be beneficial to you. The only difference is that now, you don’t care if it seems as glamorous or instaworthy as some of the things you see on your phone. And why? Because it makes you HAPPY. 

Believe us, letting go of the things going on around you is hard, but once you can really focus on you and get to know who you are - there is going to be so much to love.  

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 References:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/modern-mentality/201901/why-your-self-care-isn-t-working?amp

Jennifer P